"Liberals" and Soft Homophobia: Part 1

[Warning: This post is not satirical, and is more of a rant (although this might in itself cause some amusement) and has a particularly preachy quality to it]

A recent conversation with a friend about the relationship between political ideology and homophobia has got me thinking about the kind of response, as a student, I've had from friends/acquaintances about my sexuality. Because of the kind of people I interact with (generally all very lovely), I have had little cause to moan/worry about homophobia; indeed, the only form of abuse I’ve ever had in Exeter happened to take the form of a racist verbal incident. To a certain degree, a University setting, and particularly a postgraduate environment, has probably cushioned me from most forms of prejudice or discrimination. (Although this might be different if I was a science student/had a religious faith....)

Nevertheless, I have noticed that a number of people whom I have come into contact with, may consider themselves liberal, yet still have a bit of a problem … The kind of opinions they hold, reflect, to some degree, a much more pernicious (and irritating) kind of homophobia, because these "liberals" often assume that we now live in a post-homophobic (and post-sexist) society, where gays and lesbians always live blissfully, universally accepted by everyone. Indeed, they don’t seem to appreciate that their own experiences of gay people, of whom, in a university context, will generally be of the white and middle-class variety, does not reflect the entirety of LGBT experience- many gay people, because of a number of variables: class, age, gender, race or religion, may have far worse problems/experiences - not just with “coming out” in the first place (with all the problems this entails), but also finding a safe environment - both in their own communities and within the workplace …

Such liberals (or those that profess to be liberals) are a particularly unreflective kind of liberal, a liberal formed from their environment and immediate group of friends. The kind of person, who, in twenty years, after settling down in the suburbs, will begin reading the Daily Mail, because ‘society has now changed so much … ’ Even though such people will think of sexuality as irrelevant "why would I care who so and so sleeps with" they will still come out with statements that demonstrate a high level of ignorance, and a disturbingly low degree of empathy...


1/. "I don't go around saying I'm straight all the time"...

This is a statement I've come across on a number of occasions. Not only is it a pretty stupid statement in itself, it is also entirely false. People talk about (or broadcast) their sexuality all the time – although they don't always know it... For example, in most introductions or first meetings, in a variety of contexts, people will often mention their relationship status, and talk about their wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend, or the fact they have children.

This is an entirely normal component of social greeting, yet when a heterosexual man or woman says they have a wife/husband they are not declaring 'I am straight'. Nevertheless, as a gay man each time I mention my partner, I'm effectively "coming out" to someone new, and, what is more, I have to consider carefully what sort of reaction I might receive. Of course, I don't have to mention Chris by name, but to some extent the term 'partner' is in itself code for gay partner...

Most people of course, are unlikely to go from polite to rude in 60 seconds... Indeed, generally people will normally try to show that they are not bothered at all - the initial mental 'OH' (indeed generally a positive 'OH'), will be hidden quickly under a polite and restraint 'So what does he do?'