Because I can't be bothered to finish off my paper tonight I thought I'd continue with my account of Kalamazoo. I woke up refreshed this morning satisfied that I utilised each of my eight pillows to great effect.
After getting dressed I made my way downstairs and after asking about breakfast to another friendly guy at the desk, managed to wangle a free complimentary breakfast.
At breakfast I realised that because I've never been to America I'm aware of all the wondrous differences with England. Except, stepping back a little bit - there isn't really much difference - I'm just using that as an excuse for my own stupidity. Case in point, at breakfast a lovely waitress came up to ask me if I wanted the breakfast buffet, this question threw me- what could she mean? I said yes without much thought and stayed in my seat - 'The buffet is just over here' sir. Oh it's self service... DUH - because obviously in England there is no such thing... Later in the day, at a cafeteria I tried to rationalise my trouble with the coffee machine as being because I was in America - before realising that I would have probably spilled the coffee everywhere in England too.
Getting to Western Michigan University was easy, as the hotel had booked a shuttle cab (owned by the hotel) to take me there. The driver was called Frank and had before this job worked in a pie-filling factory for 26 years (earning 44,000$) as a pie taster! Apparently, the factory had gone bust because people weren't willing to buy the pie case and the filling and then heat it up, when they could go to Wal-Mart and just buy a pie. A sad story - Remember this people when you buy a six pack of Mr Kipling!
Having left Frank and then registered I made my way to my dorm room. This is situated at the bottom of a wide sprawling complex of flats. If I go down the corridor and turn right you find a series of boiler rooms/laundry rooms which look like something out of a horror film where the blond girl gets it. Inside my room, which has a chain lock, it smells musty - two beds are situated parallel, a chest of drawers separates them. My view - a Tornado shelter. Let's just say that I don't have eight pillows for the next couple of nights. There is no duvet, just one of those tan/light brown coloured blankets that are usually seen in the aftermath of a flood/hurricane.
Next to the bedroom and entered by another door is a weird/creepy ensuite. (Thankfully with another chain lock) This has a shower and a toilet and appears to be connected to another room. Privacy appears to be of little interest - There is a toilet next to the other person's door - half a door has been hinged onto the wall but not as a door, as a screen - a partial screen... Anyone entering from the other room instantly sees you on the toilet... Making trips to the loo slightly daunting...
Anyway, am looking forward to the papers tomorrow – but am sad that I won’t be able to make the session ‘Excrement in the Middle Ages’.
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